How and when do I potty train my toddler?

by Siobhan Godwood

Like anything to do with parenting, there are ‘fashions’ that come and go and potty training is no different.

You might have a grandma telling you that her children were out of nappies by 18 months, or a friend who’s waiting for her four-year old to ‘tell her when he’s ready’.

Many parents work, and even full-time parents often have a busy schedule, so it’s much more convenient to have your child in nappies until it becomes more likely that potty training will be quick, easy, and relatively mess-free.

However pressed for time you are, it's a good idea not to leave it too long as some primary school teachers are reporting that more children than ever before are starting school still in nappies which is not only disruptive for teachers but can have negative implications for the child too.

Is my child ready to be toilet trained?

There’s a lot of variety in the age that parents potty train their children, because there are so many variables. Each child develops at their own rate, and there’s no way of predicting when your little one will be physically and emotionally ready, although between 18 month and 30 months is considered a good time to start to support your child’s bladder and bowel health.

Remember you know your child best so try not to worry too much about what other children are doing. Discussing potty training with your child’s key person if they attend a setting will help you to get the timing right and help potty training to run more smoothly by working together to support your child.

Signs your child might be ready for potty training

Your child may be mentally ready if they:

Show interest in other people using the loo
Want to be ‘grown-up’ and independent
Use words for wees and poos.

Your child may be physically ready if they:

Can tell you they've done a wee or poo
Make signals that they are doing something - grunting, making a face or stopping what they are doing
Tell you before they do a wee or a poo
Show you they feel uncomfortable when their nappy is full
Are dry for an hour or more during the day – this shows control of bladder muscles (you can experiment by leaving off their nappy, if you dare!)
Can pull their pants up and down with only a little help.

Things to consider when starting to potty train

Time of year

Some parents wait until spring, so their toddler can run around with no pants on. Great, if your toddler is ready to go and it happens to be spring, but don’t wait six months if you think they are ready, and equally don’t go for it too early just because the weather’s nice! Christmas and holidays aren’t a brilliant time, as there is a lot of excitement and your child is out of their normal routine.

What else is going on?

As with any big change in your child’s life, it’s important to avoid too much upheaval at once. If you’re moving house, start potty training well before the move, or give your child time to settle in before you begin. If you’re having a baby, the same applies: bear in mind that some children ‘regress’ when a new baby arrives, going back to babyish behaviour, and may start wetting themselves again. On the other hand, if your child is old enough to potty train before the new baby comes, it will be less work for you than changing two lots of nappies each day.

Early years settings

Consistency is key when children are potty training, if your child attends an early year’s setting it is important you discuss this with your child’s key person so you can ensure that you are both on the same page when supporting your child to learn this new skill.

Preparing for potty training

Once you've bought a potty, have it out on the bathroom floor so your child gets used to seeing it. If your bathroom is upstairs then have a second potty downstairs in a convenient corner that your child can reach easily. If that means it needs to go on carpet then put a waterproof mat or towel underneath it.
Some children may prefer to use the toilet straight away, in which case you will need a toilet seat and a step stool to enable your child to sit comfortably. The best position for your child to be able to fully empty their bowels and bladder is with their feet flat on the floor, so if using the toilet it will be important that they can firmly plant their feet on the step.
Put some toys or books near the potty to get the child interested. They can even just sit on the potty and play just to get used to the feeling of sitting on it, without any pressure of needing to produce a wee.
Talk about the potty with your child and about going to the toilet instead of weeing and pooing in their nappy. Try to get them enthused and excited about being big and grown up as they come out of nappies. But without pressuring them.
Encourage children to practice pulling their own clothing up and down when they get dressed or after a nappy change to help them to develop these physical skills and encourage independence.

Beginning potty training

If you don't work at the weekend, try to start potty training then as you can then have two days at home to make a start.
Your child can be in pants or no pants - it's up to you.
If they are playing on the floor or sofa, pop them on a towel in case of accidents.
Put your child on the potty at regular intervals but don't pressure them.
Making up a funny wee wee song that you can sing together can make it fun.
Encourage them to tell you if they need a wee.
Keep an eye on them for signs that they might need to go and if they show signs, then scoop them up and pop them on the potty.
Remember to make a big proud fuss when they manage to go in the potty.

What doesn’t work?

Potty training under pressure – Don’t rush to get it done before a baby arrives, for example. Start potty training well in advance of the arrival date.

Shouting at your toddler or punishing them when they have an accident – Be matter of fact and calm about cleaning it up, gently remind them that they need to do their wees in the potty now, and offer lots of praise when they do.

Chopping and changing – If your toddler really doesn’t seem to get it, don’t be afraid to stop and try again in a couple of months, but don’t keep switching from nappies to pants every few days – it’s just confusing.

Top tips for trips

If you're out for the whole day, bring a folding travel potty with biodegradable bags.

Washable training pants can be useful for nap times or long journeys - hese are like normal pants but have a towelling learning to help absorb any accidents.

Think about the clothes that your child wears when potty training, try and dress them in things that they can easily pull up and down and that don’t have any complicated fastenings - and always bring spare clothes and wet bag in case of accidents.

A bit of bathroom reading

I want my potty! by Tony Ross follows the Little Princess on her journey to potty training success.